Ever have a day where you feel like every decision you’ve made up until this point in your life, has been the wrong one? Yeah, I’m kind of having one of those days.
Workout:
I’ve got a question for you…
Since I can remember, before I lost weight in 2002, I’ve always wanted to enter a Figure Competition or look like a true athlete. No, not a manly weight-lifting grunt fest, but a feminine figure competition. When I lost weight, I felt I was on the path to this goal. Then the weight loss stopped and I never got that definition I’ve always longed for.
Somehow, I took up running, which became my main focus for the next six years. This focus is a wonderful focus, but it doesn’t mesh well with weight-lifting to such an extreme extent. Either you lose weight and run fast, or you lift weights, build muscle and slow your running. I’ve been teetering between the two options since the beginning of May and I’m not sure what to do.
I still want to run and be able to do long distance races. I have little desire to do 5k’s and even 5 mile races anymore. After I did my first Half Marathon, I’ve kind of decided that 10 miles or more is my goal for races. I’m okay with being slow, if I know I’m going for a long time. I just don’t want to go slower than 11min/mile from lifting.
On the other hand, I’m not quite sure how to train to enter a figure competition and still keep up my running ability. Over the past month, I was really only running OR lifting. Basically, I would take up running and skip all lifting sessions or vice versa. It has been that way for six years. I just can’t seem to do both mentally, although this month I’ve been incorporating regular lifting (not heavy) weekly to keep my knees in good form for my running.
Recently, I wrote to an old college friend who has been in 3 or more figure competitions over the past year. She looks great and I envy what she has been able to do with her body. I would love to pursue this path as well. She has been wonderful and offered some advice, but suggests a trainer. Trainers are expensive, right? I can’t afford any extra cost right now.
(Update: I found a website where someone mentions my gym only charges $25-50 a month for training & nutrition. I called my gym and they mentioned $30-45 per session, which is a BIG difference. I am meeting with someone tonight, but will most likely not pay for this service at that price unless that was like per month. She also wanted to know more about the show I’m doing, etc… Which I don’t have one. I’m in the “discovery” phase right now. Stay tuned, I’m sure I’ll be cost-aggravated later!)
(Update #2: I canceled my meeting at the gym tonight, I’m going out to eat to celebrate my sister passing a HUGE financial series test! I figure, I’d probably only be able to do 1-2 sessions in a few months anyway due to cost. My husband works with someone who works at another location of our gym as a trainer. I am going to see about maybe having him help me out on the side a bit. I know what I’m doing and I’ve been able to learn a lot on my own. I guess I’m just looking for someone to tell me what to do instead of having to figure it out myself. I know what I need to do… this is probably another excuse to say “I can’t do it”. But… like my husband pointed out - I am more than capable of doing this on my own and learning a lot in the process… Again, any feedback is good!)
So, I ask you…
I’ve read a lot of books on the subject which can contradict each other. Sometimes I feel like I need someone there to support me, spot me in lifting, and make sure I’m not going to get injured. Or to teach me a way to do things specifically for me, not just a cookie cutter version.
What would you do? Can you point me to some good resources?
I took the past two days off from working out. My stomach has been a bit crampy and upset… it’s that time. I have also been stressing out a little, but I feel a lot better now. I’ve got a plan to tackle what is ahead of me: student loan debt! I can’t wait to pay this off. It has been years in the making, but I’ve got a few more years of heavy paying to go. I’ve been reading a lot of financial blogs and believe I have finally worked up the courage to really pay this off and stop spending money on stupid gadgets all the while worrying about this debt. I won’t have all the little extras in life, but I’ll have a peace of mind a lot sooner… to be debt free (aside from a mortgage!). One book I’m going to get from the library which gave me the courage just from reading other bloggers is The Total Money Makeover, by Dave Ramsey. It’s a good place to start to sort out life’s debts. Chris is on board too!
I have also put my yoga mat in our bedroom. I haven’t been too successful getting back into my practice of 60 minute sessions watching Inhale with Steve Ross yet. I hope they come out with a DVD for his show, then I can watch it upstairs in the mornings. Anyway, I have put the mat in our bedroom so I will take a few minutes before jumping into bed to stretch and calm myself. Then in the morning, while I have been watching the Today show getting ready, I’ll take a few moments to wake-up and stretch. This is a good start I believe to getting back into a longer practice.
Tonight I’ll be hitting the gym for 2 workout sessions. I’ve got to do upper body from Tuesday and then lower body is on the schedule for today. The way I had my weeks outlined were making me exercise 7 days a week. I can’t handle that schedule mentally or time-wise, physically I am sure I could. I need a day or two off a week. So, I’ve worked in 4 days of alternate weight lifting, with 20 mins cardio on each day. Hopefully those 20 min cardio sessions will be some running. Then on Sunday’s I’ll be prepared for the runs with K-dot. I haven’t been running much at all, I’ve been enamored with lifting and my bicycle. I love that thing!
Ohh… update on the bike too! I had bought a motorcycle cover for the bike a few weeks ago. It worked well, but after the 2nd rain and gusting winds… my bike was soaked and the cover took off like a kite! So, I returned it. I have found that I can keep my bike indoors in my living room off to the side for now. If it’s nice out, I can lock it up outside. Otherwise, in my living room it stays. I was trying to avoid this, but it’s okay. It’s a constant reminder to get out and ride, while I’m watching tv.
Another goal to tackle, aside from lifting + cardio and 5 days a week from 7 days… is cutting back on my calories. I’ve been eating out a lot from Friday-Sunday and that’s not doing me any good. While I doubt I’m gaining weight, I do feel sluggish. So, I’m cutting back 5 days a week, with 2 days being random higher calorie days to keep my body guessing.
While I have goals for my financial progress, I also have the same wishes with my physical progress. The only one who has been stopping me from achieving my goals financially and physically has been me. So, I’m stepping out of my own way, exhaling my fears and tackling this all head on… only when I face myself and these truths and goals, can I really make a difference and be who I want to be. Fears kept me back from many things, but no longer…
(If you’re wondering fears of what… being afraid of putting all my money towards a loan, except an emergency fund. It’s a big deal to go on a strict budget… and also being afraid of working out and looking great only to become overweight and horrible feeling after giving birth to children. I can’t be afraid to pay back debt I created! I can’t be afraid to be healthy & fit and have that ruined by children ~ they won’t ruin it, only I can make that decision. I have that choice to get back on track, be healthy before, during and most importantly after having children. I’ve got to block this fear that having children will make me fat and return to my former lazy self… there is no heading back there!)
Thanks for listening, i.e. reading 
Workout:
I just got a new bike. I don’t have a garage and we have a small shed. I can’t house my bike in that. I have been keeping it on my small porch locked up. It is fine when there is no rain, but when it rains the bike gets wet. I don’t want it to end up rusty and creaky quickly. So, I’ve tried to move it into the porch as much as I can. It still gets misted and wet. Yesterday I threw a towel over the handlebars and seat. That seemed to help, but the chain and tires are still getting wet. I worry about like dry rot and rust.
Where do you keep your bike when it rains? Do you have any suggestions what would work best? Do you know if bikes rust easily or dry rot?
I am thinking I’ll need to get a bike cover that is plastic to keep it nice and spankin’ new looking. I don’t want to bring it in the house because the tires are dirty and will mess up my floors. So, I’m at a loss. I guess I should just buy a house with a garage to house my bike, right? Stupid townhouse!
I’ve been very busy with my new position here at the library. I absolutely love it! I’m working with new technologies and integrated them into our public website. There are tons of projects ahead for me and some real big changes for the website soon. I’m excited to finally be a part of it, but it’s sure keeping me busy! Much more busy than when I worked with teens at the other library. I still have to go back there a few nights this month, like tonight. I work all day here, then back to the other library for a program tonight. What a long day ahead… which means no exercise.
Speaking of exercise, I’ve been acting rather lame lately. I don’t know why I keep sabotaging my efforts. I feel less confident in myself. It may be starting a new position where I am not on the top of my game yet (since I’m unsure of the scope of my duties as it being a completely new position). It could be my lack of confidence in my running ability or overall ability to be an ‘athlete’. I’m not quite sure, but I really need to knock this garbage off and quickly.
I was watching a few moments of The Biggest Loser last night. I used to love that show, until I learned how these people really “play the game” and it no longer was a great show about health and fitness, but about pounds, fat percentages and money. So, anyway… one of the cast members had said that she couldn’t lose the weight until she learned why she was doing this to herself. She needed to know the deeper reasons as to why she ate this way, kept the weight on, etc… Basically, she understood that her connection to the weight was more than just loving sweets and eating too much. It was a comfort and emotional thing.
It got me to thinking about myself. I started working out 6 years ago, based on anger. I used exercise to get out my frustrations with the world around me. It helped me achieve more confidence, change my attitude and relieved a lot of stress. Lately though, for once in my life, I feel rather content. Chris was surprised to hear this last night, since he mentioned he never really heard me say “I’m rather content with my life.”
My issue is that I’m lacking that anger that used to propel me through workouts, through soreness and motivate me to kick-butt and be the best I could be. Through reading more about yoga and loving-kindness, I’ve also tried to find solace in what I have, not want what I don’t have. This again is wonderful, but it takes more basis off of how I came to this ‘fit lifestyle’ in the first place.
So, where to go now? I need to get some motivation and quick. It can’t just be an upcoming race though, because with my knee issues it won’t work. If I run and train for a race solely, if my knee hurts again and stalls my running, all motivation will be out the door. I will still train for a race this spring or summer, but that can’t be my only motivation… I need something more.
I could strive for a healthy lifestyle, but I have that and there isn’t much to motivate. I need to be more specific. I love yoga, but even that lately I’ve been skipping out on. I just wrote this all out in hopes of finding an answer by the end of this post… unfortunately, that hasn’t happened.
So, I ask you… what is your motivator? Does it change in time? What keeps you moving when it is so easy to sit, relax and watch tv?
Thanks in advance…
This makes me want to turn vegan… but I’ll be honest in saying I’m not sure I could ever do it for real. I have however been eating a lot, I mean A LOT more fruits and vegetables since I wrote about my interests in eliminating meats and becoming a quasi-vegetarian of sorts many months ago. I haven’t eliminated meats entirely, I still eat red meat a few times a week and much less chicken or turkey a few times a month. I tend to have little interest in foul, but have had many cravings for red meat. Overall, I tend to make foods with fruits and veggies mixed in with a lot of baking. We’ll see how my habits change over this year!
What do you think of the new FDA approval?
I just want to add that my dad mentioned how it could be useful for other countries and famine. I agree. I think the initial idea of eating something that was cloned just makes food sound like a science project. Less like a free range, happy cow… more like a green gobblin that morphs into a cow that then is created into food. Just all seems unnatural to me!
I was tagged by Melbean! YAY, I feel special when I’m tagged. It doesn’t happen often Time permits because I am waiting for my husband to get home to go ice skating… haven’t done that since we’ve been together!
1.WHAT DID YOU DO IN 2007 THAT YOU’D NEVER DONE BEFORE?
Ran a ½ marathon
2. DID YOU KEEP YOUR NEW YEARS’ RESOLUTIONS, AND WILL YOU MAKE MORE FOR NEXT YEAR?
I don’t really make ones
3. DID ANYONE CLOSE TO YOU GIVE BIRTH?
Nope, but ask me this next year!
4. DID ANYONE CLOSE TO YOU DIE?
No, but hopefully I will have the same answer next year!
5. WHAT COUNTRIES DID YOU VISIT?
Viva la Mexico!!
6. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE IN 2008 THAT YOU LACKED IN 2007?
Make more money, lose more weight… oh wait, no… just be happier and less stressed
7. WHAT DATES FROM 2007 WILL REMAIN ETCHED UPON YOUR MEMORY AND WHY?
9/7/07 – our wedding day!
8. WHAT WAS YOUR BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT OF THE YEAR?
Staying in my job for the whole year and still somewhat enjoying it! Looking forward to getting just 1 W2 this year. I’ve never had just one!
9. WHAT WAS YOUR BIGGEST FAILURE?
Taking life too seriously
10. DID YOU SUFFER ILLNESS OR INJURY?
Of course, my left knee still hurts
11. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING YOU BOUGHT?
A new camera & someone’s Christmas present
12. WHOSE BEHAVIOR MERITED CELEBRATION?
families in general, both sides
13. WHOSE BEHAVIOR MADE YOU APPALLED AND DEPRESSED?
britney spears… haha j/k
14. WHERE DID MOST OF YOUR MONEY GO?
Bills, Target, Bills, Target, Loans
15. WHAT DID YOU GET REALLY, REALLY, REALLY EXCITED ABOUT?
Being in Mexico with my new husband!
16. WHAT SONG WILL ALWAYS REMIND YOU OF 2007?
Everything, by Michael Buble
17. COMPARED TO THIS TIME LAST YEAR ARE YOU:
a) happier or sadder? probably the same
b) thinner or fatter? same
c) richer or poorer? have to think richer
18. WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU’D DONE MORE OF?
Running, Hanging out with friends, Spend more time with family
19. WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU’D DONE LESS OF?
Worrying, Stressing
20. HOW WILL YOU BE SPENDING CHRISTMAS?
With family
21. DID YOU FALL IN LOVE IN 2007?
All over again
22. HOW MANY ONE-NIGHT STANDS?
None, ever!
23. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV PROGRAM?
Ugly Betty, House, the SOPRANOS!
24. DO YOU HATE ANYONE NOW THAT YOU DIDN’T HATE LAST YEAR?
Nah, I’m done with hating people
25. WHAT WAS THE BEST BOOK YOU READ?
Happy Yoga, Steve Ross
26. WHAT WAS YOUR GREATEST MUSICAL DISCOVERY?
Lily Allen ~ LOVE HER!
27. WHAT DID YOU WANT AND GOT?
New running shoes, new digital camera
28. WHAT DID YOU WANT AND NOT GET?
$1 million, lol
29. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE FILM OF THE YEAR?
Chuck & Larry
30. WHAT DID YOU DO ON YOUR BIRTHDAY, AND HOW OLD WERE YOU?
25, had a BBQ with family
31.WHAT ONE THING WOULD HAVE MADE YOUR YEAR IMMEASURABLY MORE SATISFYING?
Taking more vacations or trips to see the world
32. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONAL FASHION CONCEPT IN 2007?
Hoodies and jeans… very boring. Unless I was going out, then I’d try to look somewhat fashionable. Believe me though, I loved to shop for fashionable clothes, but always feel awkward and out of place when I actually wear them!
33. WHAT KEPT YOU SANE.
My husband and Bambi
34. WHICH CELEBRITY/PUBLIC FIGURE DID YOU FANCY THE MOST?
Victoria Beckham… she’s so skinny. I’m obsessed. It’s bad.
35. WHAT POLITICAL ISSUE STIRRED YOU THE MOST?
Our government in general stirs me!
36. WHO DID YOU MISS?
My friends and family
37. WHO WAS THE BEST NEW PERSON YOU MET?
All the lovely bloggers here… they are awesome! And maybe some people or new interesting teens at work!
38. TELL US A VALUABLE LIFE LESSON YOU LEARNED IN 2007:
Life is a daily struggle, but only if you make it that way.
39. QUOTE A SONG LYRIC THAT SUMS UP YOUR YEAR
“Spice up your life” - Spice Girls, lol
IF YOU READ THIS ENTIRE THING… TAG YOU’RE IT!!!
Okay, my husband made a little mistake when he lit the pilot light this morning. He forgot to turn the gas switch back on! So, luckily, my home will be heated again tonight. One stress over with!
Now… off to give it to my bank sometime this weekend! I think I’ll be switching soon. My husband wants me to switch to his and I’ve been thinking about that for some time now. (We keep seperate accounts & joint accounts)
What bank do you use? Are they across the country or local? How do you like them?
Hopefully I’ll get to the gym tonight after our work party. If not, I’m in for a stiff drink after the day I’ve had. My stress levels have gone through the roof! And it’s flurrying out
