Kate

I didn’t want to run. I was tired, it was cloudy and drizzling a little bit. I had forgotten my clothes at home, instead of bringing them to work. So, I thought I was doomed. My lizard lazy brain would say "don’t run, eat candy!" and it would be all over for the night.

Well, I fought back and got out there. Does that make me a real runner? I think so. Some people are runners, some are ‘real runners’. Okay, I’m just making that up, but it makes me feel better and more motivated to not be a runner, but a real one. For real, really…

I did 3 miles. My ankles are ok. A little sore, but deal-able. I need to get the EVO barefoot shoes. Christie has convinced me. My sneakers are just too darn heavy. I want to be free again, sandal weather… here I come!

Oh, wow, in 3 weeks I’ll be in Florida YAY!

And for the Sweat365 founders… I’ll be coming to Seattle for a weekend in May

Lots of travel this year…… wow, I’m not as lame as I think I am!

Off to Mexico in a few months too

See, running makes me happy. Plain and simple. Now time for my 2nd happiest thing, EATING!

Here are my heavy kicks:

Workout:

• Type: Run
• Date: 03/10/2010
• Time: 17:00:00
• Total Time: 00:35:00.00
• Calories: 290
• Distance: 3 miles
• Average Pace: 11:40.39/mile

I waste too much time stressing over the small stuff. Most of what is bothering me at the present moment will not change my life, make a difference or really matter that much in a year. I need to keep things in perspective and not let the small things build up in my mind. They take up too much valuable space that is needed for much more exciting and creative things.

Been a little lazy this week. No runs Tues, Wed or today. I was supposed to run with my after school group, but the snow tripped up those plans. I will get out there tomorrow, hopefully this snow storm will go away for good. I am determined to keep up the good work, even if my jeans feel tighter than normal. Maybe it’s my leg muscles growing again? I hope so!

Hope you’ve enjoyed a good workout today!

Today was the first day. The first full day I did not check facebook or twitter. I did not share my thoughts in 140 characters or less and I didn’t see what my tweople were up to all day. I feel deprived, I feel out of the loop, I feel like I’m breaking my addiction.

Okay, it’s not like being addicted to substances I’m sure, but technology can become very addictive. I am going to remove twitter/facebook from my distractions for Lent. Personal accounts only, my business, well I have to keep that strong! I only have a business FB account, which is usually just a catch for my blog posts to share with people.

My accounts may trick people, as they have automatic publishing of things such as this blog. But, don’t be fooled, it is not me, but it is the main inside the internet.

So, today wasn’t easy. It took a lot not to check and it’s taking a lot for me not to check now. I just get bored or want a distraction. I have a lot of things happening in the next month that I need to really focus on. I hope to come out the other end of this a better balanced person, able to use technology effectively, but not as a time waster.

Went for a 3 mile tempo run with the group of students today. It was nice. I pushed the pace on them and they never give up. They want to get healthy and I’m proud that they have more drive than I did at their age. Well, they also told me that I’m old and if I can do it, they surely can (I’m 10 years older). LOL! Those wacky girls.

Workout:

• Type: Run
• Date: 02/22/2010
• Time: 16:00:00
• Total Time: 00:30:00.00
• Calories: 311
• Distance: 3 miles
• Average Pace: 10:00/mile

My left ankle has been hurting since my run on Sunday. Bah humbug! At least it’s not my knee this time! That makes me hopeful. Taking a few days to work on strength and then will be running later this week!!

The message of the week, self sabotage. I know why I sabotage my efforts to lose weight and be healthy. I am by no means fat , but I am higher in weight than I’d like to be. My weight bothers me and I know it’s not good for my body. I have been carrying an extra 10 lbs the last two years I’m not happy with. This is 10lbs over my best, healthiest weight and 20lbs over my goal weight. I want to be tiny, super tiny. I’m not sure why, but I just do. Maybe it’ll make me run faster, maybe it’ll make fashionable clothes look better. Whatever the reason, it’s my goal.

I have sabotaged myself in the past and I’ve done it this week. It wasn’t the easiest week to get out and exercise, with tons of snow and all, and boy did I use that as an excuse. I think I’m afraid. I’m fearful of success. Success means hard work . I’ve been there before. I’ve worked hard. I’ve lost 25lbs in 6-8 months and I’ve changed my life. It’s a lot of work to be successful, that’s why so many are not. It’s hard. It’s haaarddd…. and the work never ends when you are successful.

I fear what success might bring. I fear success in my photography business, yet it was successful in the first year. I fear success in my librarianship, yet I work in a fantastic place with awesome people who embrace my efforts and creativity. Fear is what is stopping me. Fear cannot be what keeps me from reaching my goals. Fear, I loathe you, yet I let you in and take control.

How can I change? What can I do to no longer fear my success, but embrace it and grow? This is my current dilemma, but I have hope it’ll have a glorious outcome. I will not be afraid. I cannot.

That’s all. Thank you for listening. Do you have fears too?