Change is only what you make it
I realize that if I want my dreams to come true, my goals to be realized… I will need to ignore everyone I love.
Well, maybe not that extreme, but I will have to ignore the remarks, comments, sarcasm or guilt trips from family and friends. Over the past month, I’ve heard such things as, “you can take a day off eating your protein” ~ “I know you are in training, but it won’t kill you to have a brownie” ~ “eww, you eat that protein stuff for dessert” or I especially like ~ “have a beer, it’s good for you“.
I want to become a female natural figure competitor. I was a runner and most people came to understand that after 6 years of beating it into their heads. Although, some still didn’t understand. I miss running; I miss a lot of things. I want to keep running while attempting a new goal.
I never had to follow careful eating habits with running. I ate whatever, but tried to keep it healthy. Everyone knew me to be a health-nut, but I still could have some wine or party like the rest of them. Bodybuilding goals take more patience and stricter changes to achieve real results. I want to be different, therefore, I cannot eat or workout like everyone else… then I’ll just be everyone else ~ which is not my goal.
So, the next time someone questions me, or more importantly when I question myself… I’m going to think “if I want to eat like everyone else, then I’ll look like everyone else and that’s not my goal“.
I tend to question myself more than anyone else does. I always worry how I’m going to eat at a BBQ or a party, or will people think I’m crazy. I am crazy, I just have to accept that fact 
The second a comment is made, I feel like shrinking away and hiding. Why is that? I was such a confident, strong-willed crazy person… over the past year or two I’ve felt more like hiding away and hope to reemerge with huge changes. I have to stand tall and make a change for myself, not hide and hope someone will do it for me. This just isn’t a reality… where are my guts?!
I will not be ready for a show in September, as I wanted to do originally. I have decided to go see that show to see how things work. The next show is in April 2009, so then I’ll have a lot of time to prepare and work even harder than I am now.
Summer BBQ’s, parties, birthdays and all sorts of things could be used as my excuse for not making this goal a reality this fall. These are all just excuses, because I could have kept to a strict plan throughout the summer. I just didn’t realize the amount of thought and preparation that came with this type of thing and let myself off the hook. I feel my change on the horizon. I feel similar to how I felt when the switch flipped in 2002 and I went from the couch to running races for the first time. My mind is made up and I’m not stopping this time.
This is my shot to do something for myself and feel proud that I can achieve what I set my mind to. And to show all those haters that I can do it, well the haters in my mind, I’m not quite sure I have any ‘real’ haters. But if I did, you’d be sure that I’d show ‘em!
I am prepared now though to make some tough strides, further than I went in the first month, to change. It’ll have to be in little steps, but it will be… starting now… starting now… no really, right now!
3 comments:
It’s so funny that you say this… I mean, I hear you, and I agree, this is a common refrain for many people who have a “genetic” predisposition to a particular body shape… the fact is, that your family gravitates toward the genetic predisposition. And so if you are fighting that, you’ll be drifting away from the family.
So here I sit at the lake house with my family. I love them all dearly, and I know they love and support me… but when I was 60lbs heavier, 36% body fat… I was THE SKINNIEST person in the family. Now that I’m 60lbs lighter… and much more lean, and a 2 time Iron distance triathlete… well… they still don’t understand me.
I am looking at photos of me a year ago, at the same vacation house… and I was MUCH MORE LEAN… and much more fit… and when I comment on that “Gosh, look how much more fit I was then…” They’re reaction is “How could you be more fit than you are now?” or “What are you complaining about!?”
So… the fact is, most people, even those who are closest to you (maybe even more likely) are going to have a hard time accepting your goals to change you body.
It might be because they don’t want to see you change… after all most people don’t like change. Or it might be because they are jealous… or it might be a little of both of these… and other issues. But they are 99% likely to be issues with THEM not issues with YOU. So you’re right… you have to ignore them.
Good luck Kate! You can do it!
A few strong words usually does the trick with my friends and family. Words like, “Can’t, I’m training” when they offer me cake or a drink when I’m not drinking.
Or, I eat something healthy before I go to a party, then if there are only unhealthy options around, say “Sorry, I just ate.”
Then, I turn the talk to fitness, or the Olympics, or the amazing legs in the Tour de France. And then, I say I am getting there too - and laugh and show them my “new guns”. That turns the tables.
People don’t really judge you if you don’t give them that window.
Hi K,
Once again, your wise words ring true for me. I am fascinated by this phenomenon about our bodies, eating and our health…..and, I find it crosses over to many areas of life. Personal growth, exploring spirituality, career choices - even ‘thinking positively’ - have led to these familiar conversations with old friends and family. The old friends are a no-brainer. I just ask myself, are they really my friend? Family, on the other hand, is far more hard-wired.
Thanks for your wisdom & post!! Made me think.