Kate

I’m driving to work this morning and I realize that I haven’t brought a fork for my salad today. So, I figured, I’ll have to bring in a set of silverware to wash and use at work over and over. This isn’t the first time I’ve forgotten utensils. Once I get into work, where the a/c has broken today ~ it’s like 100 degrees in my closet office ~ no windows in here I figure out that I’ve not only forgotten my utensils, I’ve forgotten my bag of food for the day. I’d call it a lunch bag, but it feeds me 3 out of 6 meals a day!

So… here I sit, sweating, exhausted and hungry. I’ll have to spend money on some processed crap for lunch, unless I can survive on nuts all day… This Monday is turning out to be the worst. And, since I have no food other than nuts or the option to order out, I’ll be skipping the gym on the way home because I’m not crazy enough to work out on water alone all day. I might go home to eat and head back out, but from the way I feel right now, I doubt it. I feel this week is over before it even started… I give up, next week is another week, another ‘fresh’ start in this stupid quest for something I’m starting to feel might be unachievable… but I just know I can do it! UGH!

Last week was pretty bad, regarding my level of exercise. Also, I didn’t eat as well as I could have. This past weekend… while it was fun to be away and spend time with some great people, I was off my game on eating then too. Which is okay, but I’ve wanted to make some serious changes and finally achieve my goal of a very lean muscular body this year. I feel like I have two good days and then three bad days. I’ve got to start to reverse this cycle or I’ll never win the fight.

I have to decide, either do the workouts/nutrition 100% or get out of the game. Will I ever achieve my goal, it’s been a goal for like 10 years now (to be muscular like figure competitors) and still hasn’t been achievable. I’ve come the closest when I’ve eat well this summer (I’ve noticed some serious changes) but each weekend is a mess-up and my body reverts to its old shape. Luckily, there are no more events or BBQ’s this summer, other than one wedding in August. So, as long as I don’t screw up like today and forget my entire’s day worth of food, I probably can do well.

My week has started off on the completely wrong foot. I feel bloated, hot and upset with myself the longer I sit here. The end of the week, I’m going to stay at my moms from Wed-Sun, so that’s going to screw up my eating/exercising too. I won’t even ask if this week can get any worse, because I’m sure it can.

Welcome to the reality of my world… exercise isn’t easy and neither is eating right. Some days it feels awesome, some days suck like this one. You just have to fight through the sucky days and relish in the good ones. I’m sure I’ll be in better spirits after I sit in this sauna all day, drink water and survive on little else. I’ll probably lose 10lbs! Ha!